Tis A Lifetime Away
by momoko775PennilessPoetess
Summary: After Zidler tells Satine to leave Christian the first time, she decides that the Rouge was never her home. one chap. now... lets see if i can pull out another one


I took a breath, trying to keep my anger in check. Spend the evening with the Duke or with Christian? Gee, that's a tough one. I rolled my eyes and forced myself to take another breath.  
  
'Don't think about the Duke right now,' I told myself. A smile formed on my lips. 'You're going to spend the night with Christian, anyway. What could go wrong with that?'  
  
I touched the red velvet drapes next to me, and a smile found it's way on my mouth. "There's a song that inside of my soul. It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again. I'm awake in the infinite cold, but you sing to me over and over and over again. So I lay my head back down, and I lift my hands and pray to be only yours I pray to be only yours. I know now you're my only hope."  
  
I closed my eyes, and his smiling face appeared in the darkness. He was all that kept me going these days. "Sing to me the song of the stars. Of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again. When it feels like my dreams are so far, sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again. So I lay my head back down, and I lift my hands and pray to be only yours I pray to be only yours. I know now you're my only hope."  
  
I feel hot lips on my neck. "I give you my destiny," the warm tenor behind me sang. "I'm giving you all of me. I want your symphony. Singing in all that I am. At the top of my lungs, I'm giving it back."  
  
I reached my hand back and raked my fingers through his hair. "So I lay my head back down, and I lift my hands and pray to be only yours I pray to be only yours. I pray to be only yours. I know now you're my only hope."  
  
His hands cover my eyes. "Guess who," Christian whispered.  
  
"Michael, darling, is that you?" I giggle, turning around to drape my arms around his neck and kissed the tip of his nose.  
  
"Michael?" he asked, raising his eyebrow. "Is this another bead in your long string of men." He forced a laugh, but I saw that unshed tear in his eye.  
  
"You're the only one I care about, Christian," I whispered in his ear. "You're the only one that I love."  
  
He smiled, that wonderful smile that made me feel the earth shake under my feet. "I love you. . ." he breathed, kissing me softly. He started to lift his head, but my fingers rose to the back of his head and pushed him back to my lips.  
  
And I'm in heaven for a few moments, as his hands creep up my sides. And nothing can take that happiness away.  
  
Nothing except that cold laugh, echoing through the stage. I tare away from Christian, my hand going to my head. "The Duke. . ." I whisper.  
  
"It will be all right," Christian assures me, his hands around my waist. "All you need is love. . ." he sang softly.  
  
I smiled and looked at him over my shoulder. "No wonder the courtesan went to the sitar player's humble abode."  
  
Slowly, a grin crept across his face. "So. . . you'll come. . . tonight?"  
  
"Yes," I said, my lips on his once more. After a while, I pulled away, hearing Zidler announce that practice was over for tonight. "But now you must go. But I'll see you later. Eight o'clock." I gave him a wink.  
  
He stared at my lips for a moment. "I don't dare. . ." he whispered, touching my lips with his finger. "I'd never be able to leave if I kissed you again."  
  
"Then never leave," I said, my thumb tickling his cheek.  
  
He smiled. "I was hoping you'd say that." He leaned in again, and my heart was overflowing with warmth and made my whole body hot.  
  
"Bright and early tomorrow morning, we'll begin act two; 'The lovers are discovered!' "  
  
Harold's voice was so calm, and yet it made tears come to my eyes and I pushed away from Christian.  
  
"What's wrong?" he asked, so concerned.  
  
I forced a smile for him. "Nothing. Nothing's wrong. . . But you have to go now."  
  
He nodded and kissed my hair. "Eight o'clock. . . 'tis a lifetime away." He grinned again and I laughed. He didn't know he had lipstick all over his mouth.  
  
How did he do it, putting up with me and telling me it would all be ok? He really was an angel, I thought as I watched him turn the corner.  
  
How I loved him.  
  
With the smile on my face, I turned around, only to hold my breath when I saw Harold in front of me. Had he been there the whole time? My mouth gaped open, but I couldn't find anything to say.  
  
"Are you mad?" His words tore through my soul. "The Duke holds the deeds to the Moulin Rouge. He's spending a fortune on you. He's given you a beautiful new dressing room. He wants to make you a star. And you're dallying with the writer?"  
  
I forced what I hoped would be a laugh. Never had I been so caught off guard. "Oh. . .Harold, don't be ridi-"  
  
"I saw you together!" he roared, and I found myself once again lost in the world. My mouth, dry, wouldn't open.  
  
"The infatuation will end. Go to the boy - tell him it's over. The Duke is expecting you in the Tower at eight."  
  
I choked on my breath as I saw him walking away. Infatuation. . . it's over?  
  
"Christian. . ." I whispered, sliding to the floor, hugging my knees to me.  
  
How could he? How could Harold make light of the only happiness I had ever known? How can he make me. . . No. He can't make me do anything. Damnit, I am a person, not a slave. Why didn't I realize that before? I don't need him to fly away. . . all I need is me.  
  
A great wave of happiness washed over me. Freedom. . . it was a wonderful word. A wonderful world, now HE was in the world.  
  
"Christian. . ." I whispered. He saw the person in me. . . he was the only one who saw that there WAS a me past this wilting flower/bright and bubbly/smoldering temptress.  
  
I rose from the floor. "I'm never told that I am pretty. I'm never told that I am kind. And my soul burns now with fire deep inside. I want to become brave and courageous, not buried in self-pity of my own, ashamed and alone from all that's been done to me. It's not my fault I remind myself."  
  
I looked over the pillars of the balcony and wondered why I ever called this place home. It was all dark and dirty. . . except for that beautiful wooden stage, beckoning me toward it. But as Harold walks across it to go backstage, I curse the day when I ever saw a stage.  
  
What did Harold ever do for me that made me ever want to live here? All his promises were just lies, all his warmth was just ice. "You never loved me like a daughter, you never even loved yourself. And now you treat me like a burden, just another object on your shelf."  
  
I had come here six years ago, refuge from a rain storm. "No matter what I've done or is done to me, nothing is unforgivable, or unable to be set free. You say 'don't be afraid', but I feel afraid. You say you don't laugh or cry but I show emotion. You say food will be on the table, and birds in the sky. But I'm hungry, so hungry, and it's cloudy outside."  
  
Well, I will face the storm once more. I'll live on the streets once more, if I have to. And I'll never look back.  
  
------------------------------------------ Disclamer: All characters belong to Baz. Sorry, can't spell the last name.  
  
A/N: Ok, I suppose I could go on and make more chapters out of this. . . oh well, I'll just see what you guy's think of this before I continue. I was actually meaning to make this whole thing different, but the way it came out was just dandy I think. Hope you liked this! Please R&R!  
  
Songs used: 'Only Hope' by Mandy Moore, from 'A Walk To Remember', which comes in as #2 on my favorite movie list(need you ask what #1 is????) 'Unforgivable' by Plumb 


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